Most people wonder at some point how often other couples, or singles, are having sex. This interest is driven from a desire to establish what is perceived as sexual normalcy. While it seems like the college singles are having the most sex, a recent study tells a different story.

Contrary to popular belief, college students are having less sex than we may have been led to believe. A recent study finds that millennials are having less sex than older generations. So, if the college students aren’t having as much sex, maybe it’s young adult singles, one may wonder. Surprisingly, it is committed married couples who enjoy the most sex.

According to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 82% of married people have had sex in the past year, while only 39% of singles claim to have hopped in the sack. Breaking it down to weekly frequency, 25% of married couples are getting intimate two to three times per week, while 5% fewer singles proclaim to be doing it that often each week.

While Americans have the most sex of developed countries, a global sex trends study shows that Americans have one of the highest sexual dissatisfaction rates, with 22% of Americans claiming to be unsatisfied compared to 13% in Italy, 12% in France, and only 10% in Greece.

Between the singles and couples, American adults are having sex approximately two to three times per month. While that may not seem very frequent, when it comes to bedroom acts, quality trumps quantity. A study was conducted in which couples were asked to double the frequency they have sex each month, and most them failed to do so, averaging only a 40% increase.

As it turns out, most couples have worked out a schedule of sexual frequency that best suits the relationship. Suddenly pushing for more sex throws off the erotic equilibrium which can be entirely unsatisfying and downright stressful. While there are testimonials and statistics on how often others are getting intimate, the amount of sex you end up having ultimately varies from relationship to relationship.

What influences intimacy?

While sometimes people find themselves in the mood sporadically, it takes most people a bit of time and the proper conditions to become aroused. Physical contact and romantic interactions such as cuddling, exchanging massages, and showering together are proven to instigate sexual arousal, and lead to more satisfying sexual relationships.

It is important to focus on your partner and their needs at times, yet, satisfying sex requires being in tune with your own body. This demands taking care of it, and getting comfortable with it. Those who get more quality sleep have better sex. People who exercise frequently and are in good shape have more satisfying sex. Individuals who masturbate, and especially those who use sex toys, tend to be more in tune with their sexuality and desires, and are more comfortable expressing their pleasures with their partner.

Ultimately, sexual satisfaction comes from establishing a frequency that is comfortable for you and your relationship, and while others may be having more of it, you can take measures to ensure that yours is more satisfying.

Struggling establishing a healthy frequency, arousal, or achieving satisfaction?

Maybe you, or your partner have suffered a significant decline in sexual drive. Maybe you’ve tried everything to reclaim your sexual satisfaction to no avail. There is still a way for you to experience more satisfying intimacy with your partner.

While sharing intimate details of your sexual encounters and desires with your friends, family, or even partner can be embarrassing, working through issues with a certified sex therapist can reshape your sex life into a thriving, exciting, and extremely satisfying sex life.

Whether you no longer feel sexual desire from your partner, or feel you want much more or less sex with your partner, sex therapy is an excellent way to get to the root of your sexual dissatisfaction. Sex therapy focuses on sexual concerns of any kind, and can help resolve issues with desire, attraction, confidence, and compulsivity.

If you feel that your relationship needs a little work to establish a closer relational bond between you and your partner, this can also boost your sex life. Couples therapy can help establish trust, honesty, respect, and most importantly, a special bond, which will follow into the bedroom. A stronger connection of the heart equates a more electric connection between the sheets.

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